I was happy, nervous and terrified on my wedding day. I was so used to hiding myself that I wondered how I would unravel the pieces of me that I’d wrapped up for so long. I wish I could tell you that I’d figured it all out by the time I walked down the aisle – but I hadn’t. I’d shared some of my story with my husband and I had begun the process of addressing my pains and healing, but there was a lot I wasn’t sure about. Even on this day I wondered, “can I really let myself go with him? Would he really accept me?” But it’s amazing when you open yourself up, confront what plagues you have and allow God to continue working in you.  But, what I didn’t realize was that, when the right person comes into your life, they can bring healing to those places that sometimes you wouldn’t have addressed on your own. The desire to have a healthy, loving relationship propelled, and continues to propel, me past my fears. I wanted to be vulnerable and free, although it was what I had desperately been afraid of because of past hurts.  I thought I was protecting myself by not being vulnerable to others, but in reality, I was preventing myself from being truly happy. It’s a daily process and I continue to unravel pieces of myself, but I understand that to be known by another human being is one of the most terrifying yet liberating things God has allowed us to experience in this life.

Don’t allow a painful past to rob you of the joy and love in this life – you made it through it – broken, torn apart, confused, ashamed, but you made it. Now give yourself permission to live, to love and to be loved.